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July 27, 2006
Today I got an email from Publish America. This is the first publishing company that I sent a query letter to. However, I
decided not to submit my manuscript to them because I didn’t trust them after looking at some photos of their office
on their website. They just seemed too suspect to me for some reason. But after all this time (I submitted my query in November
of 2005) they emailed me again still awaiting my submission. It doesn’t seem that an organization that wanted to rip
me off would go to all of the trouble to look up someone who emailed them once and never submitted anything. Why bother. People
like that, I would think, would only be interested in people who respond with a submission right away. And also they said
that I could submit it via email. Look at all of that money and effort I made submitting my mss to those other three companies:
the printing, going to the post office. What a hassle and all I get from them is a stupid post card saying that they’ve
reached their quota of books they’re going to publish. No criticism at all as if they didn’t read anything but
my query letter. I’d rather email my submission. I just get a feeling that there’s something different about
Publish America. The thought occurred to me that this is what it means for something to happen “effortlessly”.
That’s what Kerry O’Connor said in her Light Stream talk on March 29 of this year. She was so very powerful.
I was so open to her and I took notes like mad while she spoke. How much more effortless would it be to just email it?
July 31, 2006
I emailed my submission yesterday to Publish America. I’ll probably need to wait a while. I don’t have any plans
right now to submit to any other publishers. I need to do some more editing from suggestions made by Leon Harris, my acupuncturist.
Took a walk into Mohegan Park yesterday. It’s becoming a ritual of mine to walk into the park and sit beneath this tree
and do some meditation for a few minutes. I had one of my best in a long time. I reached out for Makiko in my mind, who lives
in Japan and who is a practicing Buddhist and she guided me in my meditation. I could really feel her and almost see her in
my mind. I intuited in an automatic writing that following her return to Japan and leaving the church she rediscovered Buddhism
or it could have been shintoism, I’m not sure really. Nevertheless, she found a way to help her resolve the difficulty
she was going through. She has also been counseling ex-members from the Unification Church. I say this but it is all kind
of speculative because all of my information I get from my intuition. It’s all that I have to go on so I’ll trust
it. But, she was there with me guiding me in my meditation. I felt a presence, a strong one, I felt. I felt like I took a
step even if it was a half step out of the physical reality. When I did I felt I could hold it and I could maintain it. Usually
I feel as if my focus is tenuous, unstable and could collapse any second. But this time even when I opened my eyes and had
no intention but to keep going, it was maintained. Just that quality of my meditation made me realize that I was being assisted.
She guided me, talking to me in a calm but natural way, kind of like, “It’s me, come on let’s do this.”
It was Tamara, my sister and my friend. I could really feel this inner peace. I could hear the pond fountain and feel the
wind blowing around me and everything going on yet I was immersed in an envelop of peace and love. It was so relaxing. Even
my back didn’t give me such a hard time. I just straightened up as I was sitting on the ground and continued.
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