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February 15, 2006
Last week I started writing the second book in the Tamara’s Journey series tentatively entitled, “Tamara’s
Journey: Integration Of Power”. I kept telling myself that I would wait perhaps a couple of months before writing again.
This was because of how the editing process on “Purging” tired me out so. Do you know how many times I read through
that manuscript. Well, there’s six drafts. I know that I must have read the entire manuscript at least five times. But,
through most of it I never seemed to tire of it especially the most inspired moments. There were times in which I thought,
“Will I ever continue writing this story? How can I?” I remember the fear that I would have before sitting down
to write more. There would always be this fear of not knowing what was coming next. “Am I being guided. What If I’m
not? Am I screwing this whole thing up?” The same fear continually haunts me as I continue on in Tamara’s saga.
But, it’s a fainter, more insignificant voice, this ego of mine. I basically started up a few hours after where I left
off with the wedding scene. For some reason I didn’t give a thought at all about picking up from where the book actually
ends where Tamara and Pana Mae are walking back to the past lives library. Later on it occurred to me that it would be too
redundant. Anyway, that can always change when I go back and edit it. What’s important to me now as it was with the
first book is that I be completely free of any restrictions that I would be tempted to place upon myself. I’m just going
to write and write and keep writing. Of course I have a particular direction that I wish to take “Integration Of Power”.
This is where the main characters begin really learning what it was that they experienced during Michiko’s transformation
and begin putting together what it is that they are committed to teaching people. Of course I have those particular issues
and points that came out of Michiko’s departure from Sukahara and what lessons that came out as a result of Michiko’s
and John’s dialogue before that happened. But other than that, at this point in time I haven’t a clue what is
going to happen or how their destiny will take shape. Sure Makiko recorded the revelation that she received from her mother
but I’m not under the assumption that that is written in stone. Things change based upon people’s decisions that
they make. It’s still all pretty fluid. But, just as I had so much fun writing the first book that same magic started
occurring again. As soon as I started it of course making sure that I prayerfully invite Tamara then I felt guided again.
It happened again last night when I was writing about the two couple’s honeymoon together. There’s something so
important, I feel, that I need to express about John and Michiko’s relationship especially as they make the emotional
journey with each other. I feel that I have to write about this catharsis, this losing of themselves, their ego, their defensiveness
within them that leads them to this initial union of their being. Of course this is their wedding night and I’ve touched
upon Michiko’s budding sexual appetite for John and John’s as well but there’s something deeper I want to
talk about. Oh, there’s no doubt that I will describe their sexual adventure together and I know that’s what
my reader’s will be expecting but what I feel that they might not be expecting is this abandoning of defenses that both
John and Michiko experience. This surrendering of oneself to another freely and the honest meeting of two minds within two
people deeply in love. But, not only that. For there is a constant changing of positions upon surrender. Neither person lays
claim to a particular stereotypical role as man or woman, husband or wife. Within this present moment, this holy moment are
previously accepted rules of social engagement suspended. Each of them behaves according to the dictates of their soul not
their ego. When that occurs then all bets are off and anything can happen. This is what I want to convey that is happening
within the relationship between these two people. They have breached the holy instant between themselves and have laid their
thoughts open to each other and bared their naked bodies as well without shame, with honor and respect with tenderness and
compassion. This is what I want to convey about John and Michiko’s wedding night.
February 22, 2006
I was walking on the track this afternoon when I was listening to one of my John Denver cd’s. I felt moved to imagine
the editor at Llewelyn and the one at Soho who I had just mailed my submission of my manuscript to. When I imagined Llewelyn
I felt I had to struggle to get there. But when I imagined the office of Soho I felt welcomed in. I suddenly saw the receptionist’s
desk and then I went in to the office of one of the editors. It was a woman (Ms. Hruska, editor in chief?). I saw my submission
on the table to the left and her reading a submission at her desk on the right with a cup of coffee nearby. I then talked
to her suggesting that she take time after reading what she had in her hands now and read my three chapters. I gave her my
name and what the title was and told her that he is a first time writer but has a story that will not be boring. I felt very
good about this experience like I could connect with this office and with her. I could feel that I caught her attention as
if she looked up from what she was reading and could sense a voice in her head. I saw a surprised look on her face as she
did this. Well, anyway it’s one thing to make a suggestion for an editor to read your work. It’s clearly another
for them to like what you have written. Well, we’ll see.
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