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May 5, 2005
Ever so often I like to go back and read from the Sukahara story that I’m currently writing. There are so many moments
in the story that are so magical and I know that at those moments I was freely intuiting the story and letting it flow from
my subconscious, my higher self and the communion I have with Tamara when I write it. I know that when I see how inspired
I become when reading it and trying to be objective that there’s really an importance behind the authoring of this story.
I know I’m not a great writer; I see portions of this story that are hokey but I also see the parts that are streamed
from my higher self. On one hand I can see the way an inspired portion is working within the story, but then I can see that
same portion of the story reaching out to the reader of the story. That’s what I want to work towards or allow to happen
in this story.
May 15, 2005
For a while I had stopped writing the Sukahara story. Partly because of studying for my A&P final and also due to not being
so inspired. But, whenever I start up again Tamara is always there to help me. The story is at a point where John helps Michiko
as he takes her on a journey to visit her ancestor Masayuki Kantagawa, who was the first one to change his last name out of
fear of reprisal from anti-Kantagawa forces who want to destroy remaining descendants of Kantagawa. There is something important
about truth here that is drawing to what may in fact be one of the most important parts of the story. I wrote down some notes
for this part of the story. When I was approaching this part of the story I intuited that I should write about Michiko’s
ancestor who changed his last name. There was some hesitation but then I did it and I didn’t have the time to get into
it so I wrote down some notes to remind me. But, even just the writing of those notes was leading me to this epiphany and
a deep realization of something within me. It’s so intriguing and overwhelming even before I actually write about it.
I’m eager to find out what it will entail.
Sometimes I find myself thinking about the Sukahara story that I’m writing as if it is a book by another author that
I’m reading. In a way, it’s hard for me to believe that it was I who wrote it. There are so many parts of this
book that when I wrote them was inspired or intuited by me. This is why I owe so much to Tamara, Makiko Uto’s higher
self who has helped me a great deal in writing it. I have to dedicate this book to her first and foremost because it is her
life that this story is all about.
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